Psychologists say that your childhood is what molds how you will live your adult life. The more I look back, the more I realize that this statement couldn’t be more true.
When I was growing up I had loving parents-who not only loved us, but loved each other, two little sisters, and all my family surrounding me. I always dreamed of having the same life for my future children. Two happy, loving, and supporting parents, siblings, a huge family support system, but my story didn’t end up that way. I got pregnant with my abuser at 22. Ended up being a single mom, a domestic violence survivor, and the sole parent for a child. And by sole parent I don’t mean just sole/physical custody of him, I mean the ONLY parent that my child has. His father chose to be an abusive addict and abandon him instead of owning up to the mess he created and turmoil he caused, but if you read my blog you already know all about that.
I never realized it until today, but God was paving the way for me to be a great father through my dad. My dad taught me how to ride a bicycle, ride a dirt bike, to play golf, throw a football, and shoot a gun. He taught me to always defend myself, defend my family, and always have loyalty to them. He showed me that hard work and determination pays off, math is the only subject you can be sure of, and to measure twice and cut once when building something. He showed me how a man always should put his family first, provide for them, and always protect them. He showed me through his patience that the first person to yell in an argument automatically loses. He showed me that talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. He taught me that education is everything (well I may have understood that one a little too late). He taught me to always be punctual, to be respectful and the best at your job. He taught me the difference between a phillips head and a slot head screw driver, how to punch with my thump on the outside of my fist, and if I ever get into a fight, aim for the opponents nose- it’ll blur their vision. He taught me how to jump a BMX bike and that sometimes there are “extra” pieces when building shelves, toys, or play structures.
I never realized this back then, but my dad was teaching me how to be the father I need to be for my son. While teaching my son to ride a bike I am using the same tips my dad used on me. I am instilling the same values my parents did in me with my son-Family over everything, Loyalty is everything, Love with all your heart, and Respect is earned not given. My dad has stepped up and has been the best grandpa any kid could ask for.
So, Thank you dad.
Thank you for being the best dad to my sisters and I. And being the best husband to mom.
Thank you for not only teaching me how to be the best father I can be, but the father my child deserves.
Happy Father’s Day!
Alyssa's Story 